| Today is my birthday,
and my last post on this journal.
I could keep writing here;
because I have alot of memories, changes and growing up.
But I feel it's time to move on,
let go of the past
and go off somewhere else.
http://www.xanga.com/lover_ofleaving
I'm not adding anyone,
because I feel different enough
to not know who would want to be my friend.
but if you add me,
I'll surely add you back.
goodbye and my love with you all,
joshuah
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| all my hopes are a little girl
I couldn't keep from being raped.
and that little girl is lost,
grown into a beautiful drunken whore.
giving and taking from others just like her;
is what we call an old soul, or an ageing pain we all share.
somewhere we're lost,
we became something different from little boys and girls dreams that we had
the journeys and adventures that we had planned.
and we're wanting- no looking
to go back to something more than an untrusting relative paranoia that
we call our life.
but I think she's lost
and this bottle has run out.
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| I was at work today,
and was talking to kaitlin.
we were talkin about living and apartments and whatnot.
I told her, I didn't think I had much a reason to live here.
and she said without blinking, "you don't."
At first it kind of shocked me,
because everyone else I know would say different.
but hearing someone else say it,
it hit me for the first time.
as little as it hurt at first,
it made me smile and feel a bit more free.
and made me think me of what aaron would tell me,
to just go and wander and leave everything.
and I'm not sure what I'm holding onto,
and even what I have
but hope that I'll find my place, G-d and to stop messing so many things up.
I don't really know but
my love with you all,
-yusua mustafa
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| we do what we like
and we like
what we do.
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I've been looking for something,
ever since I was a little boy.
I don't know what they call it,
and I don't know what it is.
But I know it's the safest place in the world.
and ever so often, I think it's looking for me-
like I'm looking for it.
my heart,
yusua
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